Move over MC, it’s Benji time!

CAIN (76,300-90,000 wds)

And on the 7th day

God rested.

And so did I.

CAIN (74,873-90,000 wds)

P.S. Happy birthday to my sister Heather!!!!!

So this is what happened

WEDNESDAY

Landed at Newark-Liberty International Airport at 2pm.  Navigated my way to the AirTrain.  Got off at the wrong stop.  Reboarded the Airtrain.  Got off at the right stop.  Bought a ticket for a runaway train.  Stopped singing Soul Asylum and bought a ticket for a NJ Transit train.  Lounged my way to Penn Station.  De-boarded the NJ Transit train and looked for the up-escalator.  Up-escalator was broken.  I pouted.  Hefted my luggage up the stairs to the subway.  Took the subway to 42nd Street.  Hefted my luggage down the stairs to the 7.  Took the subway easterly to…42nd Street.  De-boarded the subway and looked for the up-escalator.  Up-escalator was broken.  I pouted.  Hefted my luggage up the stairs to the Grand Central Station terminal.  Overwhelmed by Grand Central Station.  Overwhelmed by puddle of sweat accumulating at my feet.  Navigate toward my palatial hotel.  Check-in.  Ride world’s fastest elevator up to the 18th floor.  Wait for spleen to join the rest of my body and then I proceed to my room.  Need to take a shower.  Opt instead to head down to the signings.  Introduce myself again (after 22 yrs) to Jon Land.  Drip sweat on his book.  Read the lovely inscription he wrote.  Float back to the 18th floor.  Nap.  Dinner.  Phone calls.  Writing.  Nap. 

THURSDAY

Met agent for lunch.  Asked me if I like seafood.  Yes. Took me to the Oyster Bar.  Consumed best lobster roll ever (sorry, Maine).  Watched him eat raw tuna.  Went back to the hotel for more panels.  Met Jordan White at a comic book shop for dinner.  Dinner not eaten at comic book shop but rather at Junior’s in Grand Central.  Much fun had.  Accompanied Jordan to Drag Me to Hell.  Much fun had.  Confused, though, by tables and chairs in Times Square. 

FRIDAY

Met editor for breakfast.  90 minutes of absolutely pleasant conversation and absolutely delicious pancakes.  Attended more panels.  Surprised/amused by hostility of some in audience.   Met up with Jen McGuire at Drama Book Shop.  So happy that she is so happy.  Met up with Laurie Bomar at Drama Book Shop.  Laurie accompanied by Krissy, Tiffani,  Katie, and Laurie’s 9-month old son Will.  Will = Laurie except in boy-form and itty-bitty.  Met up with other debut authors for late night drinks.  Absolutely decent shirley temple and absolutely pleasant conversation. 

SATURDAY

Crawled to 8am panel.  Ate eggs, bacon, and butterflies.  All abound in belly as crowd enters.  Informed that we need to stand up and hold a microphone when we present our books.  Not amused.  #8 in line.  Stood up, held microphone, presented book.  Laughter.  No sure whether with me or at me.  Attended another panel, then signing.  During signing, browsed through amazing photographs of Chilean volcano.  Returned to room.  Took a power nap until  4:30pm.  Met Meghan downstairs.  Realized butterflies were about this and not this morning’s presentation.  Pessimism dashed, though, and friendship rekindled.  Happiest moment of the week.  Attended cocktail party.  250 people squashed shoulder-to-shoulder and martini-to-martini.  Miraculously found by editor.  Instructed to meet at pillar.  8 pillars to choose from.  Wandered.  Finally found correct pillar, my publisher, and publisher’s luminary writers.  Headed over to restaurant for banquet.  Literally stopped traffic on 42nd Street.  Take that, David Merrick.  Sat at MIRA table.  Felt like one of the cool kids.  Ate magnificent feast.  Watched magnificent people receive magnificent awards.  Returned to hotel for post-banquet cocktail party.  Returned to hotel room for post-post-banquet cocktail party nap. 

SUNDAY

Took a car to Newark.  Had to give driver an organ to pay for fare.  Reflected on week that was.  Smiled.  Ate cereal bar.  Corralled to row on plane.  Sat.  Waited 90 minutes on tarmac before takeoff. 

Still smiling. 

Quagmire

In a month when celebrity deaths have come fast and furious, the latest (and perhaps the most significant) has almost been swept under the rug.  He wasn’t glamorous.  In fact, he was the opposite of glamour.  He was a statistician.  His name was Robert McNamara and he almost single-handedly damned a generation of Americans to their early graves in southeast Asia. 

To him, people were integers on a spreadsheet.  When he worked for the auto industry, this capacity to reduce humanity to digits served society well.  He encouraged higher safety standards – because in the long run, it made financial sense.  And then Kennedy recruited him to join his Cabinet and, well, the rest is the stuff of Oliver Stone movies.

Upon finding out that McNamara was dead, Joe Galloway, the award-winning journalist, wrote up this really sensational editorial. 

A few years ago, filmmaker Errol Morris sat down with Robert McNamara and crafted an outstanding piece of cinema entitled The Fog of War.  Here is its trailer:

Rest in peace, Robert McNamara. 

CAIN (72,395-90,000 wds)

Oh, and by the way…

I’ll be here this weekend:

As part of Thrillerfest, I’m participating in a Debut Authors panel discussion Saturday morning at 8am at the Grand Hyatt in NYC.  Yep.  8am.  Wish me luck…waking up. 

All kidding aside, I’m crazy-excited just to be able to attend.

CAIN (72,102-90,000 wds)

July 4th (a postscript)

I had a delightful dinner with my brother Noah and his wife Kelly (who is 5 months pregnant and can feel Fetus Abigail kicking at her belly button).  Hamburgers and french fries and cupcakes were eaten.  All that food kicked at my belly button too. 

We then watched several episodes of Jeopardy! and played games (I won Quiddler, Noah won Scrabble, I won high-low-jack).  

I may not have spent the holiday in the arms of a sweetheart, but I did spend it in the house of loved ones, and for that I am quite, quite  grateful. 

CAIN (70,739-90,000 wds)

The Meaning of the Day

What does today mean to you? 

Well, if you’re American, it probably means hamburgers and hot dogs, picnics with family and friends, fireworks, and flags.  It means celebrating independence.  To quote my brilliant pal Elizabeth Thorpe:

Consider the odds stacked against the colonies,the improbability of such an impressive group of men being centered in three cities that simply did not count on an international scale and that we started as an Enlightenment EXPERIMENT. Consider that this was a war - not a barbecue, and as the rebels we were the traitors.

So if you’re British, today probably doesn’t mean anything pleasant.  That’s OK.  You still have Elizabeth Tudor, William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, and the Beatles.

As for me, July 4th means heartache.

My parents married on July 4, 1971.  Out of their union came four children and over thirty years of love.  As a child, I remember spending many July 4ths with them.  They always included us, their kids, in (most) of their anniversary celebrations. 

Those celebrations ended a few years back when my parents got divorced.  

So yes, today marks the anniversary of a wonderful day in their lives, but that love feels so finite now, and, for me at least, many of my thoughts and feelings about today are nostalgic rather than celebratory, wistful rather than proud. 

I know, I know.  I’m looking at the glass half-empty.  And most years, you’d be right.  Most years, I’d be able to shake off the glooms, pluck up, and party. 

But today I was also supposed to be in San Salvador, attending a wedding with Meghan.  I was so looking forward to traveling with her to Central America and sharing the exotic experience by her side.  I remember looking at websites on San Salvador.  I remember joking with her about the activities I would and would not do (would do: stroll the marketplace/wouldn’t do: hike the volcano). 

And it just reminds me how she and I are no longer together.  And it just reminds me how much I miss her, and what we had.  Which brings me back to my parents, and what they had.  Which brings me back to, I suppose, to me, and what I have.  Because independence is a truly wonderful thing – don’t get me wrong – but it’s awfully nice, now and then, to have other people to depend on, you know?  It’s awfully nice to be able to cuddle with someone you love, to know that person loves you, and in each others’ arms just lay back and enjoy the fireworks.

CAIN (68,999-90,000 wds)